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| AUTISM HOME |
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| Q&A with Dr. Robert Naseef |
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 Robert Naseef, Ph.D., is a psychologist specializing in families of children with disabilities and the father of four, including a son with autism. |
Q: What is the one thing you would say to a parent who has just found out her child has autism? A: Finding out that your child has autism can be an extremely dark day for parents. This is tough news to swallow. You don’t have to kid yourself or those who love you about how hard this can be. It will take time to regain your balance. The diagnosis is the beginning of your journey. As your child gets the appropriate therapies, you will see progress and you will feel relief because now you know what to do to help. While it can be painful to say goodbye to the child of your dreams, you can say hello now to the child who needs you just as much if not more. You will find great joy and great love in each and every achievement that you would have taken for granted had your child had a “typical” developmental course. |
Don't miss
Dr. Naseef's book:  See Dr. Naseef's perspective in the article "An Inconvenient Youth" in the September 2009 issue of O Magazine Ask the Expert: Read Dr. Naseef's response to a reader's question on Can autism be cured? Learn more about Dr. Naseef's work at www.specialfamilies.com. |
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Q: What book have you read lately that you are excited about? A: Actually there are two books. For the general readership, I am very proud of the book I have just co-edited with Cindy Ariel, Voices from the Spectrum: Parents, Grandparents, Siblings, People With Autism, And Professionals Share Their Wisdom. The broad scope of this book presents insights into the autism spectrum from many different perspectives—from firsthand accounts of people who grew up with autism to parents' and grandparents' reactions to a diagnosis. The other book geared toward a professional audience is Beyond the Autism Diagnosis: A Professional’s Guide to Helping Families, by Marion O'Brien, Ph.D., and Julie Daggert, Ph.D. Written with keen insight and sensitivity, this book is an essential guide for professionals who work with families who have a child with autism. Q: What inspired you to work with kids with autism? A: My son. There are times, even now that Tariq is in his 20s, when I still wonder who my son might have been, without the autism, and who might I have been as well. Everything changed when the “autism bomb” hit and he stopped talking and began an endless sequence of repetitive activities. Tariq stopped relating by sharing his joy and interest in life. A few years later he was diagnosed with autism and mental retardation. The impact sent his development and family life veering sharply from the course we were on. I thought I could change Tariq and make him the boy I wanted him to be, frantically and persistently following various treatment approaches: behavioral, educational, dietary, and developmental. Despite intensive treatment, he did not make dramatic progress. Instead he has been a catalyst to transform me. He taught me the meaning of unconditional love—to honor his sacred right to be loved for who he is, not what he has achieved lately, how he looks, or how much money he will earn. Without words, he continues to teach me a priceless lesson and continues to inform and inspire my work with families and children. Q: What do you see as the next breakthrough for autism? A: So many children have been affected, and so many families have had their lives disrupted. The money being spent on research is a tiny fraction of what is needed. The most urgent need is for state-of-the-art services for children and their families who have been struck by autism. Alarmingly, a 2–year old child just diagnosed with autism in the United States gets only a few hours of home-based services per week, while experts recommend 30 to 40 hours of programming. In many parts of the world services are just beginning to be developed. Parents shouldn’t have to beg and scream for services when their child enters school. Many of these schools are poorly funded, especially in the inner cities, and have inadequately trained staff and few or no opportunities for developing social skills by including children with autism with their same-aged peers. It is heartening to have the issues finally begin to be recognized more widely. We need to do our best to find solutions. Q: What is the greatest obstacle you have overcome in your work? A: My greatest obstacle is accepting my own limitations. I try to help people accept themselves just as they are. This is the key to accepting our children with an open, kind, and loving heart. What Tariq has taught me besides accepting him is to accept myself. I think the challenges in our children radiate inwardly to our own imperfections. I had to begin accepting my own flaws. Finally accepting our pain and ourselves leads to accepting and enjoying our child and our family life. That awareness is the gateway to love and wholeness. Q: What is the most rewarding experience you've had in working with a child with autism? A: I take great joy in seeing parents fall in love with their child all over again. First, I try to help people look at their grief. It doesn’t help to pretend to be positive when underneath you may be lonely, afraid, or sad. I learned we don’t have to lie to ourselves. You can grieve. You can complain. You can mourn. This helps you to go on, make the best of the situation, and enjoy life. A perfectly lovely child or adult on the spectrum can be very hard to be with because of their behavioral, social, or communication issues. When you love someone, you expect yourself to love to be with them. When you don’t feel that and think you should, the guilt can be unbearable, and your heart aches. This is an inner conflict that any parent can relate to, but when a child has autism, this can happen much more frequently. Learning to join your child where she is on the developmental ladder and rejoicing in each little step is the antidote. |
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From the Ask the Expert page featuring answers* by Dr. Robert Naseef Q: Can autism be cured? A: As current scientific data confirms, there is no single known cause or cure, but autism is treatable. The children and their families progress—some by leaps and bounds, some slowly, and some barely if at all. Such is the mystery of the spectrum we have come to know as autism. Such is the process of coming to terms with what is changeable and what is not, and which varies for each individual and family. This is how we think of recovery from autism. We have not seen children cured of autism, but we have seen them outgrow many symptoms. Early diagnosis and intervention has been found to be extremely important in developmental progress. |
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*Please note that any information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for medical or professional advice or care. Opinions do not necessarily reflect the views of Brookes Publishing, and links or references to third-party materials are provided for convenience only and no endorsement is implied. |
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